House? Home? Love!
by stjarna
Summary: JavaJunkie, This was the way I could have pictured a conversation between Luke and Lorelai about the Twickham House. (Used to be Spoiler-based, but it is not anymore :) )


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Summary**: JavaJunkie. How to fit the title for the 5th season's finale into a Luke/Lorelai-conversation. Place unspecified. This is the way I could have pictured a particular conversation between Luke and Lorelai about the Twickham House.

**Author's note**: This was written before "To Live and Let Diorama" aired, so everything that happened ever since on the show, has no effect on the fanfic. No Spoilers anymore. I hope you still like it :) Just the way I could have pictured things. My first fan fiction. This just popped into my head at one at night after reading the title for the season's final on the spoiler-board. Reviews (good, bad and in between) highly appreciated. English is not my native language, so be kind.

**pen2starshollow**: Thank you so much for your help and beta-reading!

Thanks for the reviews so far.

**Mandy Renay: **Thanks for pointing out the mistake. I changed it.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Gilmore Girls. I wish I did like most people here, but I don't. The only thing that I own that could be linked to GG is my coffee machine.

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**House? Home? Love!**

"You have done **_what_**?", sheasked, looking at him in disbelief.

"I bought the Twickham house." he said matter-of-factly, as if he had just told her he had bought some milk.

"Again, you have done **_what_**? Are you crazy? Are you turning into a flannel-and-backwards-baseball-cap-wearing version of Taylor, systematically buying up all of the town? What were you thinking?" Lorelai couldn't believe it.

_He had bought a house. Not just a house _-_ a big house. The Twickham House. And apparently he hadn't even thought about telling her first._

"Don't you ever compare me with Taylor again!" Luke pointed his finger at Lorelai to stress the last comment. He started to gesture wildly – like he always did when he was starting to rant.

"And I bought the house for us. You said you liked the house. **_I_** like the house. So I bought it. For us. I wanted us to have a home."

"A house is not a home, Luke." Lorelai sounded tired and sad- she looked this way too. She still couldn't believe it.

_Why did he have to do this? Everything was going so great. Why did he want to screw this up, by doing something insane like buying a house out of the blue?_

"A house is a building you live in, with walls and a floor and a roof," she explained. "My parents had a house, but it wasn't a home."

"Your parents don't have a house, they have a castle!" Luke didn't understand why Lorelai was so upset.

_He had bought a house. For them. He wanted a future. For them. A home. For them._ _He didn't mean to upset her. He had thought she'd be thrilled._

"Exactly, it's a castle, and for me it was like prison -only the cushions were more comfortable, and I was able to sneak out the window occasionally."

Lorelai wanted to make him understand why she was not completelyhappy and joyful about his purchase.

"A house is not a home. A home is a place where you are comfortable, where you can be yourself, where you love, where you have memories! It is something you feel in your heart! The shed at the Independence Inn was a home to me because I felt welcome there and I could finally be myself, and I lived there with Rory. It was a home - with memories. And then there's my house. It's a home. I bought it with my own money. It was mine and Rory's, and I filled it with happiness and laughter and memories. We had good moments there and bad ones. That's what makes a home. And we have a history – the house and me. But you cannot just buy the Twickham House and call it our home. For God's sake, Luke, you didn't even talk about this with me. You didn't even **_consider_** talking about this with me. If you bought the house for **_us_**, if you wanted the house to be **_our_** home, you should have talked with me first!"

"I wanted to let my actions speak. Show you that I can see a future for us. That I **_want_** a future for us!"

_Why was she not happy?_ _He wanted her to be happy. She knew that he always tried to let his actions speak. He was never good with words._

"God, Luke. Yeah, letting your actions speak is great. The Chuppah, the flowers, the ice rink - those were all great actions, and they spoke likeencyclopaedias. But buying a house? That's just too big, Luke. It's huge. It's gigantic. Hyper-gigantic. Uber-gigantic. You can't decide something like that for another person. You just can't!"

_Why didn't he understand?_

"So what now? You don't want to live with me? You don't want a future with me? A home? A house? Is that what you are trying to tell me?" Luke was angry now.

_Yes, he understood that maybe the whole buying-the-Twickham-House-idea wasn't so good after all_,_ and he should have talked with her first. But what now? He had bought the house and he wanted to live with her. What was it that she wanted?_

"Luke, please. I don't want to fight about this." Lorelai was exhausted. She was tired. She hadn't expected a fight like that. She hadn't expected any of this. She didn't want to fight with Luke. She just wanted him to understand that this was too fast and that they needed to communicate, to talk about big thingslike this. She wanted to explain all of this to him.

"Don't you understand that I am just extremely surprised and shocked that you did something this huge without talking to me first? God, I love you, Luke, I really do, and I want a future with you. I want our middle. I want us to live together and to build us a home, but this is just too fast, too big, too much. I am not ready for this. I am not ready to leave my house. The Twickham House is great and beautiful, but it is too big. We should start smaller than that. I don't know, maybe we could..." Lorelai had suddenly realizedthat Luke was staring at her, mouth open, big surprised eyes. "Why are you looking at me like that?"

"What have you just said?" Luke didn't move an inch. He looked like a statue, frozen in shock. Still waiting for an answer.

"What? Have you lost your sense of hearing? Which part didn't you get?"

_She had just _given_ this long speech. Told him her thoughts. Tried to make a suggestion, and he had interrupted her?_ _She was becoming cranky._

"What. Have you. Just said?" Luke said firmly and a bit louder than before.

Lorelai got a bit nervous because Luke suddenly was so serious. He had stopped ranting, he had stopped arguing. He looked a bit shocked, speechless -in disbelief.

"That the Twickham House is too big?" _Why was he looking_ _at her like that?_

"Before that!"

"That I am not ready to leave my house just yet?" _Seriously, why was he looking at her__like that?_

"Before that!"

"That I was shocked and surprised that you didn't tell me about you purchase?" Lorelai was really nervous now and as usual she tried to make a joke to cover up her emotions. "Will I get a prizeif I guess right? Maybe a nice coffee maker? Washing machine? Brand new car?"

"After that!"

"Oh, come on Luke, this game is getting boring. What have I said?" Lorelai couldn't take it anymore. This was driving her crazy.

"You really don't know?" _How could she not know?_

"**_Luke!_** You're starting to freak me out! What did I say?" Lorelai was almost yelling now. She threw her hands in the air like she was about to strangle Luke if he didn't tell her.

"You said that you loved me." _How could she not know?_

"What? No, I didn't. I said that you should have talked with me first and that ... and that... Oh my god!" Realizationhit Lorelai. She covered her mouth with her hand. Surprised. Shocked.

_She had said it. She had never said it before to anyone. Well Rory, yes of course. And Sookie. But that was different. This was a man, a boyfriend. It was Luke. She had always been afraid of the words. She had never said them. And now she had. But not only had she said them, they had just slipped out. Like it was the most natural thing in the world. She had not been scared. She had not even been thinking about it. She didn't have to think about it. There was nothing to think about. She loved Luke. She loved him._

"Oh my god. I said it!" Suddenly, she was extremelyexcited. She was happy.

_She had said those three words. She wasn't afraid to say them, and she meant them. She meant them from the bottom of her soul, from the bottom of her heart_,_ and she was sure about it._

Lorelai started to smile. A big smile. She looked at Luke, who was still a little bit in disbelief.

Lukehad no idea what had just happened.

_One moment they had this big fight about the Twickham House, and the next thing he remembered is hearing Lorelai say "I love you, Luke, I really do". And when he wanted a confirmation, because he couldn't believe that all his dreams were coming true, she didn't even remember? Had she not meant it? Did those words just slip out of her mouth? And now she was smiling. Why was she smiling?_

"I love you, Luke. I love you. You're right. I said it. God it feels so great to say it." Lorelai was excited and happy.She couldn't stop smiling. "To be able to say it. Not being afraid of saying it. You know why I'm not afraid to say it? Because I mean it, because I have no doubts whatsoever. I know it. I feel it, Luke. I love you. And I want to live with you and build ourselves a home."

"Okay!" Luke couldn't say anything more.

_He wanted to. He wanted to tell her that he loved her too, that he would do anything to make her happy. If she wanted him to sell the Twickham House again__fine. He would to it. He would do anything. He wanted to say something, but he couldn't._

"I love you, Luke. I want to live with you, but the Twickham House is just too big. I am not ready for a huge step like that." Lorelai suddenly remembered what she wanted to say before Luke had interrupted her earlier and as he was silent now, this was the perfect opportunity.

"Maybe we should start smaller? Why don't you keep the Twickham House. I mean, it could work as a museum for a little bit longer, right? But for starters, how about - well maybe you could -I don't know. Move in with me? Maybe. If you want to. Into my house." She started to babble. "And Rory's house. I mean, I'm sure she won't mind. She didn't mind when Max was about to move in. Although, **_I_** kind of minded. Well I kind of freaked out, to be honest. I couldn't sleep when he was in my bed, becauseit was just strange to have a guy in the house. But with you, it was never strange. It was just natural. I felt safe. I like waking up next to you. So I think it could work. Only if you want to of course. I mean I am not easy to live with, I tell ya. I take hours inthe bathroom, and I have this cinnamon tooth paste that you hate. There's never food in my fridge, everything is kinda girly, and Hello Kitty iseverywhere. I have tons of clothes, so if you want to move in we have to make room for your stuff first. But I could do that. I could throw out some of my stuff. I mean your boat is already in my garage. The rest of your stuff iswelcome too. We could throw you a big welcome party. You and your stuff. Lots of booze. Well, the stuff can't drink any booze, of course. But we could. If you want to. I was just thinking. You know, a step in the right direct..."

Luke put his hand over her mouth to shut her up. He had come back to his senses.

_Lorelai had said she loved him. And she meant it. And she wanted to live with him. And obviously she was starting to get nervous because she hadn't got an answer yet. He knew she was nervous because she always started babbling. _

"Okay." He said it firmly. Just one word. He looked her deep in the eyes to get her out of babbling-world. To make her realizethat he was "all in".

"Okay?" _Had he really just said that? Had he agreed? Did Luke want to move in with her? In her house?_ She had to hear it again.

"Okay." He said calmly, still looking directly into her eyes.

"You mean, you want to ..."

"Yes I want to."

"Yay!" Lorelai hugged Luke. She was smiling. She was laughing. She felt happy.

Luke hugged her back. He held her tightly, closing his eyes and smelling her hair. Feeling how happy she was. How happy he was inside. This moment was perfect.

"I love you." It was barely a whisper into her ear. But Lorelai heard it. She drew back, placing her arms on Luke's biceps. She looked him deep in the eyes. They were full of love. She could see his love in those beautiful blue eyes of his. She could see herself, too, and she could see her love for him. She felt it, too. Her hands reached for his face. Their eyes were still locked. There was no need for any more words. Lorelai closed her eyes and leaned in for a kiss. She kissed him softlyslowly. It took him a moment to respond. But when he did the kiss became deeper, yet still soft and slow, like they were taking all the time in the world. It was pure love. The world around them was forgotten. They were the only ones there. They loved each other. They would live together. They would have a middle. It would be perfect. It was perfect. Neither of them wanted the kiss to stop.

**The End.**

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Reviews please :) **


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